Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Christmas is almost here. Its kinda overwhelming. I see how much hurt there is around me. I see people who have less than me...more than me...the same as me...I want to give what I can but I cant even make Christmas for my own family. I want to give him something but I cant...I dont have any money for it. I know its my fault we are low on funds. If I had been working we wouldnt have this problem...but I just had to complain about my ankle. I honestly should have sucked it up and kept working. I knew how much we need the money. He wants me to be honest with him about the pain and I am....for the most part. I take the pills and keep the pain down as much as I can. I want to work but I just dont know if I can. Im going to try though. The money is good. Maybe she can give me something stronger so that I wont feel anything. For now I am going to suck it up. I cant stand to see him stress over the bills because Im not working.

School is almost over for the year...Two finals left. My ethics should go just fine but Im scared that I wont do well on my sociology final. Im studing as much as I can but I dont know. The good news is I should do a lot better next term. I hope anyway.

I feel like...Im always in trouble. I always mess up. I cant just go through the day as a good girl, I have to mess up get in trouble to much. I hate to hear the dissiapointment in his voice...see it in his eyes. I wish sometimes that I could just sleep and not wake for a while. Its hard to deal with dissiapointing him.


I think im going to go "sleep" for a while. Arianna can take over.

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