Day 4 and 5

What does submission mean to you?

Submission to me is giving everything i am to the one i serve and love. I give my mind, body, soul, everything to Him.Submission means doing what is asked when it is asked not saying that Im too sleepy or that Im doing something else. It is not serving when it is convent for me. Submission is a give and take relationship. You have to be willing to give it your all and sacrifice some things even if you dont want to.

Day 3

What makes you feel joy, pain, fear, excitement?

A lot of things make me feel joy. Reading a good book, talking with an old friend, watching a favorite movie,  spending time with loved ones..just to name a few. All of these things bring joy into my life, and they are all powerful things, however, one of the most powerful feelings of joy comes when I know that I have pleased my Master. When he pets my head and tells me that I have been a good girl, the feeling of joy overwhelms me.

I feel pain when I'm hurt, or when I have disappointed someone I love. When I know I have done something that hurt a friend or that hurt my Master I feel a great pain. I hate to hurt the ones I love.

I feel fear when I am about to be punished, or when I go into a class for the first time. I become fearful when I met new people or experience something new. When I'm home alone and it is night time I fear what could be out there.

When I am told that we are going shopping, to a party, to see family, to see friends I become excited. I also become excited when we play or Master allows me to serve him.

Prompt 2

Today's is a question.

Your core is who you are. Who are you?

Well my core is submissive. I love to serve. It brings me pleasure to know that my Master is pleased with the service I give him. My core is a slave. Am I always true to my core? Sadly, no I'm not but I'm trying to be. Now that I understand what my core is I can work being true to myself. Only when I am true to myself do I truly feel happy.

Prompt 1

Today's prompt is a quotation.

"I saw an angel trapped in marble and I carved to set her free"--Michaelangelo

I can see many ways one can take this. I am going to take it in a BDSM way. To me this quote is coming from a Master/Mistress talking about a submissive. When I read this I see a Dom/Domme looking at a new submissive. The submissive is much like an angel trapped in marble. She knows what she wants but cannot obtain that with out the help of the Dom/Domme. They see the true heart of the girl and how much she wants to serve. They see what she can be and who she can do. And through training they can carve away all the things that the sub is not and leave just what the sub is. They can take all the impurities that surround the girl and toss it to the side to leave only the pure intentions and pure beauty of the submissive.

I am going to try something new

Each day I am going to put up a prompt. It could be a quote, statement or it could be a question. I will respond as I see it and I encourage others to leave their thoughts as well.

A topic that needs to be spoken about more....

As someone who wishes to become a child psychologist/peds nurse child abuse is a topic that I have to be very aware of. Child abuse is not something that a lot of people talk about because they feel that it is not their place to bring up concerns they may have. However, it is their place to protect children.The paper below goes into more detail about abuse and its many forms.

There is a lot of information that a victim services provider needs to know. A service provider needs to know the stats about rape and child abuse. They need to know how to talk to young children, teens, and adults about the trauma they have been through. A service provider needs to know how to talk to the parents of a victim as well as those parents who are suspected to be abusive. It is important that service providers are taught how to handle situations effectively.

            In early history children were seen as property. They were headed by their fathers. We can see this in the medieval time. Kings would usually marry off their daughters to the biggest neighboring kingdom. They did this to ensure that they had a large number of subjects and so there would be no fighting between the two kingdoms. Infanticide (the killing of infants) has occurred since early times. It was a way for people to ensure that the strongest humans survived. It was a way for unwed mothers to “correct” their mistake. It was an acceptable way to control the population and make sure only the strong survived.

            Rape victims are encouraged to report the rape to the authorities. However, a lot of people do not report the rape because of the fear that they wont be believed. A rape victim is often re-victimized when the come forward. Once reported the victim will undergo a rape kit. This kit has 13 steps to it. At first they receive authorization from the victim. They will take a medical history and the information from the assault. The person who is performing the kit will collect the clothing  and place them into a clothing bags. They will collect debris from under the nails, collect hairs and fibers, do rectal, vaginal, and oral swabs and smears. The rape kit can be as traumatizing as the actual rape to the victim. The victim is asked to re-tell their story over and over. They may be interviewed by someone that does not believe the story they tell. The victim may be told that their rapist will go free because their story is not true or there wasn’t enough evidence. Going through all of this can re-traumatize them. A victim of LGBT sexual assault is even less likely than a victim of a hetero sexual assault to report the assault to the authorities. This is because if they report it they could be outed. It is perceived that caregivers and police are homophobic there for would treat the victim differently. The victim of a homosexual assault may fear that they will be seen as a traitor to the larger LGBT community. Often the assault is blamed on the victims sexual orientation. It is assumed that the sexual contact between homosexuals is always consensual. Where as that is not the case in reports of heterosexual assaults.

            When a victim provider is interviewing a child they need to keep their voice soft and comforting. It is important that they make they child feel comfortable and safe. The service provider should inform the parents of what the interview and rape kit will include before they are in the room with the child. They should give the tools they will use funny names to make them seem less scary to the child. When interviewing the child they should let the child draw or act out what happened to them if it is not too traumatic for the child. When they talk to the child they should get down on their level. This will allow the child to feel safer and not threatened. The service provider that is conducting the interview should like children and be good with them. The service provider should let the child ask any questions that they want and try to answer them to the best of there ability. They should also allow the parents to ask what ever questions they wanted before and after the interview. It is important that the service provider takes the concerns of the child and parents to the heart and show them that everything will be okay. 

            There are different types of abuse. Out of all of them psychological and emotional abuse is the hardest to define, isolate, and prove/ This form of abuse is said to underlie all other forms of abuse.. It is not an isolated event but instead it is a pattern of destructive behavior that could include: rejecting, isolating, terrorizing, ignoring, and corrupting. Emotional abuse, in my opinion is the most destructive form of abuse. It can cause long term emotional problems in the child.

            Sometimes the courts need to remove a child from their home and will require a child to be placed in foster care. Many times the parents may believe that they are cooperating with the social worker and the placement of the child will be short term. The separation can be very traumatic for the child and it may cause inner conflict for the child. Foster care can be a very unstable place for a child. They are unsure of where they will end up because a foster parent may request that the child be removed. In Foster care the child has to make a lot of adjustments. They have to adjust to the separation from their family, they may have a new school, new neighbors, and sometimes even a different culture. For this reason foster care is considered as a last resort. For this reason a social worker needs to be creative in placing and protecting a child. Sometimes removing the child is not it their best interest. When this is the case a social worker will try family preservation. Family preservation is one option that is preferred over removing the child. The exact reason for the removal of a child needs to be closely analyzed. Is the child in danger? Or will the removal hurt the child more than staying at home would? Steps need to be taken to insure that foster placement will provide the best therapeutic atmosphere possible. The biggest concern is what is best for the child.

            Many people believe that if someone was abused or neglected as a child they will abuse or neglect their own children. This, however, is a myth. People will not always abuse their children if they themselves were abused. It is also a myth that children who were abused will become deviant adults. For every inmate in a correctional facility who was abused as a child there may be 50 more that were abused but did not turn to crime. People who have been abused may exhibit many different things listed in the chart below.

Physical Abuse	Neglect	Sexual Abuse
Difficulty Trusting others Low self-esteem Anxiety and fear Physical problems Anger Depression Inability to play	Anger Low self-esteem Impaired object relations Lowered intelligence Verbal inaccessibility Difficulty with relationships Perception of powerlessness	Difficulty trusting others Anxiety and fears Shame and guilt Anger Depression Abuse of alcohol Sexual problems

            In 93 percent of child sexual abuse cases, the victims know their abuser; and up to 88 percent of sexual abuse cases are never reported. It is alarming how many children are abused and are never believed. There are several warning signs that one needs to be aware of.  They are listed below.

Behavior you may see in a child or adolescent

• Has nightmares or other sleep problems without an explanation
• Seems distracted or distant at odd times
• Has a sudden change in eating habits
• Refuses to eat
• Loses or drastically increases appetite
•  Has trouble swallowing.
• Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity or withdrawal
• Leaves “clues” that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
• Writes, draws, plays or dreams of sexual or frightening images
• Develops new or unusual fear of certain people or places
• Refuses to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child
• Talks about a new older friend
• Suddenly has money, toys or other gifts without reason
• Thinks of self or body as repulsive, dirty or bad
• Exhibits adult-like sexual behaviors, language and knowledge

Signs more typical of younger children

• An older child behaving like a younger child (such as bed-wetting or thumb sucking)
• Has new words for private body parts
• Resists removing clothes when appropriate times (bath, bed, toileting, diapering)
• Asks other children to behave sexually or play sexual games
• Mimics adult-like sexual behaviors with toys or stuffed animal
• Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training

Signs more typical in adolescents

• Self-injury (cutting, burning)
• Inadequate personal hygiene
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Sexual promiscuity
• Running away from home
• Depression, anxiety
• Suicide attempts
• Fear of intimacy or closeness
• Compulsive eating or dieting

Physical warning signs

Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare.  If you see these signs, bring your child to a doctor.   Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.

• Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
• Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
• Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training

To cope with the complex society children need more, or different, skills from the generations before them. Several basic and appropriate skills can be taught to children. Schools can teach the children to prioritize things to enable them to choose among tasks. Some schools teach their students that appropriate people to approach when a crisis occurs. Officers from the community give talks at schools to promote safety. Children are being educated on what do to during the crisis of being abused. There are three times of prevention, primary prevention, secondary prevention, and tertiary prevention.  Primary prevention is the effort to educate to public about how to prevent maltreatment. Secondary prevention consists of efforts directed toward high-risk populations. Tertiary prevention is the intervention to prevent the abuse or neglect from continuing. The quest for prevention should begin in schools. It can be hoped that if we teach the children are taught what abusive parents have never learned. The school can teach the child:

Life skill training

Preparation from parenthood

Self-protection training

Educational services for the community

Help for at-risk families

Schools today need to become more involved in the protection and education of children.

            Child abuse and any abuse for that matter needs to be stopped as soon as it is found out about. A child can die because someone did not come forward and report their concerns. If you know someone who is being abused or even if you have a concern please please report it. If you are being abused tell someone, a teacher, family member, church member or someone else that you trust. Abuse is not okay and you can get help.

Essay on BDSM Punishments

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To my Sister

My Dear,

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
cause I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together cause

 i'll be there for you always
always and always
just look over your shoulder
i'll be there for you always
always

I will always be with you, holding your hand, I will always be there for you. You need not fear what lays ahead, no matter what comes our way we can get through as long as we stick together.
Love
Tessa

New Pics!!

Imp has started climbing the latter that is in our house. He loves to jump from the top.

 This was taken just after it had rained. I love going out and seeing the rain drops. I love everything to do with rain. The Neko below is how I see myself sometimes. My hair is the same color and I love to hide in boxes.

Last weekend I visited my parents and I found that they have some new pets. They now have three ducks and two pings. Thomas (Pictured in the orange jacket) has the three ducks. He named them Ducky Ricko and yeller. Steven has the pigs and said that he does not plan on naming them.

 The ducks love the pool that my parents have set up in the yard. They love to run all over and annoy the dogs who are annoyed that they cant get to the ducks. Doug the golden wants to eat them.

...

School starts on Monday..Im starting my CNA classes so I can get a decent job. Im hoping that once I have a job things here wont be so tense. I hate having to hold everything inside me...all the pain..the anger..the hurting..I want to be able to talk to someone..to be heard..to be understood. I hate having to just say okay and nod when a comment is made. I dont want to get in trouble for asking a question or dreaming of a trip to the lake. I want to cry...scream..I want to be held and comforted. I want to be able to greet him at the door and not worry about what type of mood he will be in. I want to be able to say lets talk and not have to fight for his attention. I loathe the computer, the internet games, the comics, the movies. I just want to be able to talk to him and not fight for it. I want him to hear me when i say something. I want to be able to talk about my feelings and actually be heard instead of brushed off. I want to be able to look at him and see the love he has for me..not the negative feelings he has against me. I want to love myself..i want to be loved...but who cares what I want..im just a lowly slave. I dont matter.

Im trying

Im trying my best to hold my tongue...Im trying my best not to shoot off my mouth but your hurting me...it does not seem to matter if i beg you to stop for you just ignore me. You are willing to do things for yourself with no thought to me. i know this is the life i choose and i plan to keep it because i love you. but im begging you...please stop hurting me, please dont say everything i like is stupid or not worth it. When you disregard my comments on things such as yanking my hair so fast that it hurts my neck...or slapping me on the arm just for fun...or telling me lll be fine when im sick instead of being sympathetic like i am when ylu dont feel good makes me wonder if you love me as much as i love you...id do anything for you but when you hurt me it makes me want to change who i am...somethimes i think maybe youd like it better if i lost my personality and just did everything and never asked for sexual things or anything for that matter...sighs

Hiya

Hiya!
My name Stormy and i 6 year old. I wove to color and play games. i wanted to say hi so hi hehe

3/18/11

So as this blog is suppose to be about my life with my Master..I have decided that I am going to include everything. Right now Im sitting in a hotel work out room waiting for my laundry to be done. There for I am bored thus I am blogging. Master and myself are on a 2 day trip for his side job. We had amazing food for dinner and a bottle of wine awaits my return. Its been a long..long day but now I can relax a little. Master on the other hand cannot. he still has his reports to put in. :( Poor Master.

Since I have made this blog we have acquired a new a pet. A kitten we have names Imp. 

 Imp is the little gray and white one...Addison is our other male cat..he is about 4.5 years old.

 He climbed in and couldn't get out...

 He loves sitting on my shoulder while I work at the computer

This is the two together...a VERY VERY rare thing.

I love my two little babies and can't wait to get home to them. Aren't they just the most darling little things?

New rules...new start

I as a slave would personally like to become more one with myself. To allow my inner most wants to come out and to act on those wants. I want to become the person that I want to be. To be fully submissive to the man I love.

As a slave I should be expected to do several things:

©      Have the house spotless

©      Have dinner on the table when Master comes home from work

©      Have the water on, towel out and Masters show things ready when he awakes

©      Be kneeling in the tub and ready to accept Masters golden gift

©      Be kneeling/sitting at His side ready to serve

©      Be clean and sweet smelling at all times

©      Only sit on furniture if invited

©      Only sleep on Masters bed if invited

©      Not to speak unless asked to

©      Only to eat the slave food unless given something else

©      Have a job

©      Service Master sexually at His whim

©      Take care of the cats

©      Keep musical skills sharp

©      Achieve a min of a B in each class taken

©      Know the slave positions

©      Be shaved

If the above listed tasks are not met punishment will be given to the slave. Punishments can include but are not limited to:

Isolation

©      Corner Time

©      Enemas

©      Lines

©      Embarrassment

©      The Cane

©      The hair brush

©      Nipple Clamps

©      Exercise (running push ups sit ups)

©      Kneeling on Ice

©      No use of pillows

If the above listed tasks are met rewards can be given. They can include but are not limited to:

©      Cuddles

©      Watching movies

©      Playing the Wii with Master

©      Showers with Master

©      Coloring

©      Soft hand spanking

©      Fingering

©      Walking

The above tasks will be added as each one is mastered. If the slave feels that something is too much to handle she may bring the problem to Master with out fear of punishment and with the understanding that she will be listened to and the problems will be worked on.

Master, owner of my body

Master, owner of my body and director of my will, you are with me. I am thankful that I serve you. Let me be transparent as glass, that my heart may be visible always, for my entire self, even unto the workings of my mind, are yours. Master, I honor you with my service and submit to you with my thoughts, words, and deeds, so that I may be a reflection of your will, and the manifestation of your desires.
Master, I am your slave and your property. I will work and I will sacrifice that I may reflect your intentions, and make of myself a window to the soul you own. Use me Master, as you see fit, that I may learn to serve and to submit to you in all things.
In gratitude I serve, and in thankfulness I submit, and in peace I honor my Master with my trust.

Things are going to change

Things are going to change around here. Master and I have talking about a few things and we have decided to change up the rules and try a more strict life for a while. I am excited about this. Its something that I have wanted for a while but have been to afraid to ask for. This is a new start...hopefully a wonderful start and I am excited!

:)

I want a baby....I want to be a wife...a mommy...

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a mommy. My mother told me that I have always acted like a mommy to my cousins, siblings, dolls...pretty much anything that I could. I want to hold a little person in my arms, coo at it...I have names picked out since I was little. I want to have a little person depend on me, come to me for help, to count on me. I want to be able to go to my parents or my grandparents home and show my child to them. I want to go there and tell them that this is my husband and this is my little girl or boy. Sometimes I feel so strongly that I cant hardly breath, I can hardly think...I want a baby so much...and I dont know what to do.....

crazy

I think Im going crazy...I see and hear things that I know arnt there...I get chided at just a little and I want to go away. Ill be fine one moment and the next Ill be crying. I get frustrated at little things that didnt use to bother me. i feel like Im failing at everything I do...There is this person...who as never been here before appeared a few weeks ago and now i hear her all the time..Ari trys to keep her away but it dosent always work. I want nothing more than to be the perfect girl for him but I feel like...im not good enough...idk

Do you really mean it?

Some times you say things and I never know if I should be concerned. Things like pointing to the door or saying Im not collared yet...I mean...if you love me then why would you say or do something like that? Is it to make me hurt? Do you just not know how much that hurts me? What is it? What can I do to make you stop doing it? I need to be able to feel safe and secure...I need to know with out a doubt that you wont wake up and tell me that you want someone thats pretty, smart, sexy, and so on...I need to know with out a doubt that I mean something...that I didnt give up my family for nothing..because now that I have gone down this path I cant take it back.